Obviously

Trying to be sensible and grown up with pennies with an idea of saving only works if you have something to save for. The desire to save for something implies an ambition or aspiration towards the something.
I stumbled across my old Amazon account the other day where I'd written in the summary that after university I wanted to travel around the world, working in as many places along the way as possible to fund it.
I can't even save up for a pair of shoes let alone a work visa and plane ticket. Getting bogged down in the mundane to enable myself to fund something I've only managed to get bogged down in the mundane, unable to fund even that.
Ultimately, all I do is annoy myself and irritate those around me by persisting in doing fuck all. Someone once asked why I lived in the city if all I was ever going to do was work as a bar maid, since I could do that anywhere. Worse, in trying to be indignant about this statement in relaying it to another person, they agreed with it as being an astute observation. I have since disappointed myself by moving out of the city and continuing to work as a bar maid.
I believe most of this may be down to me having concentrated so hard on establishing what it is I don't want to do, don't want to be, don't want to happen in my life, I've no concept of what it is I do want. The only clear ideas I have in my head are the negatives, and as such, they seem to be the only ones likely to materialise (thus far at least).
Being scared of my own ambitions and aspirations isn't much help either, and considering that I'm the only person who considers me incapable, it's ridiculous.